YOU CAN CALL ME AL   Paul Simon
 
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A man walks down the street, he says why am I soft in the middle now,
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why am I soft in the middle, the rest of my life is so hard,
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I need a photo-opportunity, I want a shot at redemption,
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dont want to end up a cartoon, in a cartoon graveyard,
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bonedigger, bonedigger, dogs in the moonlight,
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far away my well-lit door, Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly,
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get these mutts away from me, you know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore.
 
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If you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal,
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I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.
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A man walks down the street, he says why am I short of attention,
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got a short little span of attention, and, woh my nights are so long,
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wheres my wife and family, what if I die here,
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wholl be my role-model, now that my role-model is gone, gone,
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he ducked back down the alley, with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl,
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all along, along, there were incidents and accidents,
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there were hints and allegations.
 
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If you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal,
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I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.  Call me Al.
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A man walks down the street, it’s a street in a strange world,
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maybe its the Third World, maybe its his first time around,
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he doesnt speak the language, he holds no currency,
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he is a foreign man, he is surrounded by the sound, the sound,
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cattle in the marketplace, scatterlings and orphanages, 
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he looks around, around, he sees angels in the architecture, 
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spinning in infinity, he says Amen and Hallelujah!
 
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If you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal,
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I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.  Call me Al.
 
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